Quote
“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you ready or not, to put this plan into action.”
Napolean Hill
Magic Wand Dog Training!
(I didn’t write this – its floating around on a few of my dog training lists. Hope you enjoy!!)
Telephone system
by Sally
Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 11:27am
“This is the Magic Wand Dog Training and Behaviour Services automated
telephone system. Please listen carefully to the following options:
Press 01 to tell me your dog has been asked to leave the local obedience
club because he won’t sit, wait, down or come when called (even when on
lead) so you thought you would try agility.
Press 02 if your Labrador is morbidly obese and you thought you would try
agility.
Press 03 if you want 30 minutes of advice and have no intention of paying
for it.
Press 04 if you describe your dog as ‘a little bit naughty’ when what you
really mean is that the b*st*rd bites, hard.
Press 05 if you want puppy training classes but your Boxer is already 12
months old.
Press 06 if you believe that just by turning up to one puppy training class
and doing no work whatsoever at home, your puppy will grow up to be a well adjusted companion.
Press 07 if your nervous aggressive GSD has bitten and hospitalized Aunt
Maud, the vet, and your child and you want me to rehome it.
Press 08 if you have three children under school age, an invalid parent
living at your home, a partner who works away, are pregnant with twins and
want your 8 month old Dalmatian that never gets a walk to stop chewing
everything in sight.
Press 09 if you want to tell me my advice won’t work even though you have not tried it yet.
Press 10 if you want to be dog trainer and behaviorist because you like
animals better than people.
Press 11 if you are 15 years old and want to do work experience with me but would faint if I asked you to pick up after a dog.
Press 12 if your dog is aggressive with other dogs but you want to join one
of my groups because it will be nice for him to have some friends.
Press 13 if you cannot afford my private rates and want a discount because you only have one BMW.
Press 14 if you are canceling your lesson that is due to start in 30
minutes and have no intention of paying the cancellation fee.
Press 15 if you do not believe in rewarding a dog and know that clicker
training does not work because your friend Beryl said so.
Press 16 if you think your dog knows he has done wrong when you tell him off and that he obeys you because he respects you and acknowledges you are a superior being.
Press 17 if you want me to wave my magic wand over your
contacts/weaves/start line waits in just one session and will then tell me
it did not work when you go to a show just two days later with no training
in the meantime.
Press 18 if you have eleven Jack Russell bitches in a small apartment and you want me to teach them not to fight each other.
Press 19 if you already know everything about your breed because this is the fourth one you have had and I cannot tell you anything new.
Press 20 if you want me to pick up your dear departed dog’s ashes from the vets and keep them at my house because you are too upset to have them in your home.
Press 21 if you could not use a halti, indoor crate, or harness because they
are cruel.
Press 22 if you will not put a muzzle on your very aggressive dog because
you do not want people to think he is nasty.
Press 23 if you want to leave an increasingly angry message for the third
time this week demanding an urgent call back and yet again forget to give
your name or number.
Press 24 if, having ascertained I am out, you wish ask my husband or kids
for behavioral advice about your pet.
Press 25 if you wish to fill up my answering machine tape with an incoherent
rambling message
Press 26 if want your entire male adolescent dog to spend its days lying
patiently on your front step on your unfenced property because dogs
shouldn’t want to run away, should they.
Press 27 if you want me to teach your untrained border collie to play with
sheep because you think he will like it.
Press 28 if your dog thinks its name is “NO”.
Press 29 if it is before 8am or after 10pm and you want to ask how to stop
your 13 week old lab puppy from biting your 5, 7 and 9 year old boys when
they play fight with it.
Press 30 if you have taken trouble to socialize and train your pet and want
to make an appointment to learn even more fun stuff. No need to hold, I’ll
put you right through.”
One size does not fit all
Last night in class, I was showing off equipment. While my personal preference is for a buckle collar or harness and simply teach the dogs to walk nicely on the leash, sometimes some of our puppies or people need a little more.
Wonder if she's talking about anyone I know??
So I bring in most of the pieces on hand; head halters, walking harnesses, even pinch collars and choke chains to show how they are used and why I do or don’t like them.
After it was over and we discussed which might be a good fit for each dog, I was asked, “So there isn’t one thing you recommend for every dog?”
No. There isn’t.
My head halter puts me in working mode! Sometimes....
All dog and human pairs are different. What might work for me and an exuberant young lab might not work for someone frail with the same lab. Someone who relies on their dog for service would need a different piece of equipment than someone who uses their dog as a running companion.
Think there is a piece of equipment that can get our minds off each other and back into class?
Training methods are the same way. Pop on Amazon or another book site and gander upon all the offerings on how to train.
If you’ve been on any dog training lists there are endless discussions on how to train a behavior a kazillion different ways. Fascinating stuff.
Is she making up words again? Sigh. What to do with her??
What might work for a frazzled young mom with a young puppy and two young kids, might not work for the retired couple with the same puppy, lots of time, but limited physical abilities.
A method that will make a rat terrier the best companion ever, might just irritate the Weimaraner.
While I might think teaching a dog to crawl across the room is the most fun thing ever, you might consider it totally useless and a waste of time.
And you know what?? That’s Okay.
One size does not fit all.
But….we all knew that, right??