Poor baby!!
When we see another in distress, our natural instinct is to comfort and protect. You see someone crying and you open your arms to hug and hold. You make soothing comforting noises. You offer help. This is human nature.
I get many fearful dogs in class. See them in the store. Some are teeny-tinys, others, not so much. But parents treat them the same way. “Poor baby! Don’t be scared! Mommy’s here, I’ll take care of you!”
I spent my first 2 classes under the chair, peering out in fear. Baby, you ought to see me now!
And the parents will usually look at me and say sincerely, “I think the last owner abused him.” Or “We took him from an abusive situation.” Or “I don’t know what happened, but I think he was abused.”
And you know what – he might have been. There are a lot of jerks in the world. Idiots. There are a lot of so-called NICE people who are abusing their dogs. I won’t repeat some of the stories I hear of what everyday normal people tell me they are doing to their dogs because I’ve been told its just upsetting (Hi, Anna!<g>).
I was rescued from a nasty situation, and now live at the shelter. Wanna take me home??
And sometimes abuse is in the eye of the beholder. I personally think its abuse to get a dog to leave it chained up in your backyard all its life. Some people think that is Just Fine.
ANYWAY – I digress. Scared dogs. That’s what I want to discuss today. Its hard not to cuddle and coddle and coo and pet and sympathize with your scared doggy. That is what we all want when we are scared. Some big strong person to take care of our fears. Make it go away.
But we speak English. Dogs don’t. For the most part. Sure they understand certain words “Sit!” “Dinner time!” But as we go on and on and on and on as we are liable to do – mostly they understand our Tones.
My mom does everything right and yet I'm still a little nervous in public. One day, though...
So when we are cooing and soothing and saying, “Poor baby! Its okay, Mommy is right here, I won’t let that nasty shiny floor get you!” (yeah, lots of dogs are scared of shiny floors. Go figure. I’m not sure how so many were abused with shiny floors but…) What dog is hearing is this: “What a good puppy you are! That shiny floor is soooo scary and you are acting just like mommy thinks you should be acting! GOOD DOG!”
And that is not the message you want to be sending. The message you want to be sending is this one – upbeat, light hearted, “HA! You thought that floor was something to be afraid of! SILLY dog-dog! I laugh at you! I throw treats on that shiny floor! I ignore your quivering mass of foolishness! Funny thing you are!”
Fear? I don't think I understand this 'fear' thing.
The calmer you are, the more you exert your aura of stability and strength, the calmer dog will be when confronted with scary new things. Sometimes it will take more than one try, sometimes there are other things you need to do. But the first thing you need to do, is stop reassuring baby dog that everything will be okay. Act as if it already was okay. Good job!